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Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. After all, if he thinks you're afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out! " stop and ask yourself "Why are you always justifying your way out of dating? Dating from the perspective of "it's all about sex" can pay off if that's how you truly feel.

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Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn't the best place to meet Mr. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn't make you weak, weird or wacky. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way.Whether it's a first date, casual dating or dating to mate, gay guys face the same challenges as everyone else.The only difference is they do it with class, sass and still get a piece of ass when it's done right!Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach, is a Certified Professional Coach and an expert featured on The Ricki Lake Show and on numerous other radio shows, in print and on national blogs. For the most part, gay men are like everyone else on the dating scene. Like their straight counterparts, gay men also desire connection, companionship and commitment. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. " Constantly in a tailspin with the same old audio tapes playing in your head? Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely ... Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love. The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face.Unfortunately, the gay dating pool is viciously competitive. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys' way! The goal is for the single gay community to know you're in circulation. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. Do you always say: "Gay dating is such a chore," or, "Gay men just want sex," or "Every gay guy I meet only wants to talk about themselves? " For example, "Gay dating is such a chore." So What? "If it's not fun, then I might as well just stay home." So what? or at least that's what the replay of the tape your listening to is saying. Finally, let the fun-loving gay dater in you out to play. Just because "Bryce" dates like a mad man doesn't mean he's more datable than you.

So, instead of fighting over the newest man meat on Grindr, I recommend these practical tips for gay men: 1. Find your stride, your way, your place and snuggle in. You've heard it before: Trust is the basis of everything.

That is, if you've been doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then change detergents, add some fabric softener and try a new way of putting yourself out there. Regardless of your perspective, being honest with yourself all along is my point. Crazy as it sounds, one of these three "f-words" could lead you to Mr. If you can't win them by being fearless, then be a little foolish, and let your heart lead you. Check out the merchandise, evaluate the functionality, weigh the benefits, but for crying out loud, stop comparing yourself to everyone around you!

That cozy warm space of dating your way will find you. But honey, practice makes perfect, and it starts with you.

As gay men, one of the hardest obstacles we face is trusting that we're okay because we're gay.

The more you dial in, trust yourself and stop second-guessing, the more you'll rely on your own instincts and create the dating situations that are right for you.

But baby, you gotta trust yourself because their ain't no one else that's gonna do it for ya.